Good Morning Everyone and Happy Last Week of Pure Vida...
This week is about "Self Study." This subject is near and dear to me. When I look back on all my years of wanting to improve myself, I lead myself to believe that Self Improvement was Self Study. At this point, however, I feel they are quite different indeed.
To truly know yourself is a difficult task. It is so easy to lie to ourselves about what our personal truth is, but as the old saying goes: "The truth will set you free." In a society where so many are still trying to be good and trying so hard to present themselves as good, the idea of self-study gets lost in translation.
Don't get me wrong, there is nothing in this whole wide world worth more than trying to be good, but no one learns by doing things right all the time. So why do we cherish being right the way we do? Is it that we do not want to own up to the dark sides of ourselves? Is it because we are afraid we cannot be dark, wrong, or different in our society? Or do we feel that being wrong is wrong indeed?
One of the best things I EVER learned from my teacher is that "you have never done anything wrong in your whole life." It took me years to believe this statement, let alone understand it. Now I feel I understand it quite well. Life is simply a series of experiences that teach us who we are. None of them are right and none of them are wrong. They just ARE.
One of my practitioners has a sign in her office that states: "You are perfect just the way you are." The first time I read that sign I thought to myself, "I am far from perfect." I would go as far to say that when I first read that sign I hated myself. Those might be strong words but that was my truth. I just did not know it at the time. I wanted to hide that part of myself deep, deep down. In order to dig myself out of that self-loathing I had to look at the dark parts of myself straight in the eye and know that I had to learn to love that part of myself, too. Those parts of us, though we are not deliberate with them, are actually of great service to others.
I love the onion analogy. We peel back the layers of the onion one by one as we delve deeper into self-study—each time appearing a little purer, a bit more compassionate and certainly a little wiser. The point of each layer is to find the center of ourselves, our own little spark of divinity known as our soul, which is indeed perfect. The part that I love so much is that when we peel an onion, it makes us cry.
So as you go forth trying to be the best version of yourself, remember it's ok to get a little dirty and for things to get messy. How else would you emerge like the phoenix from the ashes?